Welcome to the land of Kiwis and sheep, where the North island is a field of green and the South is where the thrill seekers seek.  The place where you think Kiwis’ sound Aussie, but realise they just have the weird version of the accent. New Zealand is what you can call the australasia of America. Everywhere you go, you will inevitably run into an American, because once upon a time they came over on a holiday visa and then discovered how much they loved the place, and stayed. Another aspect is that you drive everywhere. Coming from Melbourne, I was used to walking into the CBD or taking the tram (I loved tram riding). Here, you hop into the car and you drive into the city or any place for the matter. So first thing first, the question I’ve been asking myself since my arrival in this country… do I like New Zealand? Well, it’s safe to say that nothing will ever top Australia, but I’ll be honest to you fellow readers: I am not a one directions fan to NZ. As you all may know, New Zealand is separated into two parts: North and South Island. I am not keen on North, but I am the most keen on the South.

I arrived in Auckland on December 10 in the late afternoon… I then continued to stay in Auckland for another three days. You may be thinking, “errmergerd, Auckland must be heaps loads of fun!” you are surely mistaken.

1. Cousin lives in Auckland. A fact is all.

2. a fun time = gettin’ crazy at the… shopping mall.

then you may wonder the scenery must be pretty at least? Well, I say to that:

3. the BRIGHTEST, most MAGNIFICENT, TOWERING, BREATHTAKING buildings I have ever laid my eyes on. Sing it Alicia Keys.

Needless to say my introduction to this country was far more disappointing than me not being able to bake on a daily basis. During those long-winding four days, I thought I had made the mistake of coming here, when I could’ve extended my stay in OZ. Luckily I became proactive and told the cousin my ‘must do’ list and we set off for South Island on the fifth day. I always knew ‘5’ was my lucky number.  We set off at midnight and drove for ten hours straight from Auckland to Wellington. We arrived in Wellington around 8 the next morning and we checked into the hostel. Upon checking in, I noticed that they had a city-outing that day. Most importantly they were going to Weta Caves. I stupidly thought we were actually going to go caving, but later found out it is the site of Weta, the conceptual design and physical manufacturing of the trilogy- Lord of the Rings. It was neat, I planted one on Smeagol.

That night, me and three other guys that I met on the city-outing went to climb Mt. Victoria. Whilst our hike, we saw one of the largest tree swings ever. So of course, we patiently took turns on it. Too much fun. Little did I know, two of the guys I had met – Kash and Quz, were going to be following me and my cousin for the next few days down to South island. The next morning we went on a ferry ride. My plans for South island was going to be too much fun, as I have depicted in the last post.

South Island is just beautiful. Green covered hills that swallow the land and speckled sheep across the land; I was in awe. When we drove, the hills created an oscillating motion. My days in NZ was finally turning around. This road trip my cousin and I started consisted of hours upon hours of endless driving, burping contests, music shuffling, and abdominal hurting laughter. Oh Jeffrey, what had you gotten yourself into? A fresh rookie at traveling, I introduced him to hostel stays and the advantage of freebies. If we hadn’t driven, I would’ve made him hitchhike with me along with the hundreds of others that were doing so, but I’m sure if that happened, he would’ve wet himself in terror, (he’s a bit suspicious of everything). Throughout our journey to South and back to North, multiple things occurred on and off the road that must be shared. So sit back and have a cackle at my misfortunes of a self.

There was one instance when Jeffrey was cruising up and down a mountain in Abel Tasman national park and we passed by a group of sheep huddled together by a fence. I yelped out “stop!” I  hopped out of the car and galloped towards the sheep. As the sheep heard me, they fled. Then I tried another tactic: creeping. I followed the instructions of Nicki Minaj (legs flexed and arms t-rexin’) and re-approached them. The sheep fled again. They would “baa” at each other (in warning) with this feisty-ness in their tone that made me want to flee. After many failed attempts, I exasperated loudly, “sheep, just love me!!” A few of them turned their cute, friendly faces at me and looked at me in contemplation whether or not to make my wish come true. But those sassy wool balls turned away and walked off, shaking their bums at me. The way they walk is a sight to see; attitude is written all over it. So I grudgingly snapped some shots at them and got back into the car…

On the second day in Queenstown, I had just gotten done with bungy-jumping and was in the city on a desperate search for food. My cousin hadn’t arrived at the pickup place yet, so I walked into Ferburger to order. As I entered the premises, my mouth began to salivate… uncontrollably. I took my order to go and walked back to the pickup spot to wait on the cousin. Conveniently, as I walked up, I saw the car there. I got in and Jeffrey turns to me and says, “the car won’t start.” For some reason, that didn’t worry me and I responded, “oh bummer… can you fix it?” Poor cousin. He was working frantically on the engine, with beads of sweat racing down his face while I was sitting in my seat smashing down the burger and chips. So as Jeffrey was running back and forth with tools and calling up his mates back in Auckland for advice, I was focused on my food. As people walked by, I’m sure I was a site to see. Picture the car as a museum, specifically a Ripley’s believe it or not; and I was one of those disfigured looking people who made it in the Guinness World Records. People were starting to stare. Whenever I noticed someone noticing me, I would look up, with particles of burger spattered across the region of my mouth, with some aioli sauce grazing the bottom of my nose, and chipmunk cheeks fat as. Yum. By the time I completely finished my meal, my cousin was close to hitting a home run with the fuse. The car started working and Jeffrey’s face was paler than normal. Luckily his colour came back to him on the drive back to the hostel.

The next morning, we were driving to Wanaka for deep canyoning, and on the way there it started to rain. So Jeffrey turned on his windshield wipers and half way through, they stopped working. All I could do was laugh. First the car stops working and then the wipers stop? His car was falling apart! The funniest thing about it was that before we even began the trip, he was like, “we need to take the Mercedes because it’s safer and the engine is spot on.” Oh yes, a touchy fuse box, temperamental wipers, and high-pitch screeching brakes. Hitchhikers, we can totally give you a ride! A ride of a lifetime that ends in a potential crash and a drop and roll off a mountain.

After a wonderful time in Queenstown, we drove up to Christchurch. Now, I was planning on spending a whole or half day there, but ended up just spending a close hour in the city. I ate at beer and burgers which was far more than disappointing and frolicked about in the Botanic gardens. Seeing the ruins in Christchurch was tearful but hopeful. Everything was practically in storage containers, but it’s nice to see how much of an effort residents are putting forth in rebuilding the city.

After Christchurch, Jeffrey and I decided we would head back up to Picton to catch the ferry the next (early) morning back to Auckland. About 4 hours into the drive, we passed a sign that said “seals, next 4km” I screeched in excitement. I kept my eyes peeled open for seals, mainly because it was almost dark out. I spotted some and with the cousin going 140km/hr it took him a while to stop. I jumped out and ran towards the seashore. I asked the cousin whether or not if the seals would attack me if I went down. He was against the idea, but I went down anyways. Mistake. I slid down the rocks and greeted the seals. Now, the way seals walk isn’t a wobble, but more of the inch and hop. Kind of like when toddlers are beginning to crawl and they inch their way around everywhere? These seals were massive. Their whiskers were about the length of my forearm and they were about as tall as me. I got down to level with them, and one sociable seal approached me. At that point, I thought it was going to let me pet it! But then, it started inching and hopping faster and faster, to the pace of charging. It started to bark at me and I started to bark back? I think I thought I had a second form of talent of Ellen Degeneres and could communicate with the seal. My barking skills were not up to par and the seal pounced on me. Luckily I dodged it before it flopped onto me. I started running around like a chicken with it’s head cut off. Where was Jeffrey throughout all this? Having a smoke was what he was doing. I started to scream and began flapping my arms about. I finally ran to the mound of rocks I came down from to climb up. Now Jeffrey saw me getting chased by not just one seal, but a pack. Did he help me? He did, after laughing his head off for what seemed like ages. I was scrambling to get up whilst his cackling and when I made it out to safety,  I collapsed on the dirt. I was in a state of shock. My former feelings towards seals- so cute and lovely, had changed to vicious, cruel animals. I peed my pants… a tid bit.

The funny bits of my everyday life; never a dull one.

Well today is Christmas day and is also the penultimate day to the end of my adventure on this side of the world. New Zealand has been nice but I will be back another time to do it correctly. Like I have always said, I prefer to travel alone. Travels with the cousin has been a frustrating one and I reckon it impacted my time here and it’s potential for enjoyableness. Don’t get me wrong, the fun times with Jeffrey were still the most fun, but I did not get to do half of the nature hikes and climbs that I wanted to do. Next time around, I’ll be a backpacker and not a studying uni student. Time to start saving.

A bittersweet moment it is right now. My last post for the year and the last one written on this side of the world. Merry Christmas everyone, and see you westerners in two days.

“That’s how stories happen — with a turning point, an unexpected twist. There’s only one kind of happiness, but misfortune comes in all shapes and sizes. It’s like Tolstoy said. Happiness is an allegory, unhappiness a story.” – Haruki Murakami.